Trusting Him to Lead Read online

  Trusting Him To Lead

  His Tender Mercies: Book 3

  T.K. Chapin

  Copyright © 2020 T.K. Chapin All rights reserved.

  Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictionally. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with.

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  Version: 1.15.2020

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  Dedicated to my loving wife.

  For all the years she has put up with me

  And many more to come.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Book Previews

  Free Gift

  Also by T.K. Chapin

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Chapter 1

  Swatting away the cobwebs of years gone by, Rachel Kirkland found the little chain to turn the attic’s light on. Boxes, trinkets, and various other items covered in dust littered her late grandparents’, Ralph and Margret’s, attic. Memories that had been long forgotten but not destroyed. Turning, she called for her sister, Brittany, who was in the house below the attic.

  “Hey. We missed the attic. Come up here.” Rachel and Brittany had volunteered to clean and prepare their grandfather’s house for sale after he passed away three months ago. His only child, their mother, Linda, just couldn’t bear to do it herself, and they wanted to help her in any way they could during the difficult time. Rachel knew first-hand how difficult it was to lose a parent, watching her husband, West, go through a similar experience some years ago when he lost his grandfather who had raised him since he was thirteen.

  Brittany climbed the pull-out stairs and surveyed the attic. “Whoa! I had no idea all of this stuff was up here!”

  Rachel smiled. “This will be more fun than the rest of the house. Let’s start cracking open boxes.”

  Moving to her knees, Rachel wiped the dust off from the top of one box marked Photos. Unfolding the cardboard flaps, she opened it to find an assortment of photo albums. Pulling one out as Brittany went over to an old rusted trike, she started to peruse the pages of the memories. Pictures of her grandparents dancing at their wedding filled the first few pages. Then it went on to other special events, birthdays, parties, and holidays. Each page was filled with smiling faces.

  “Come check this out.”

  Brittany made her way over to Rachel and joined her on the floor. “Grandpa loved her so much.”

  “I know . . . I think that’s why he only lasted a couple of years after she passed.”

  Brittany nodded. “He didn’t want to live without her. So romantic.”

  Flipping more pages, Rachel lifted her eyebrows as she saw more dancing and parties. “They did so much together.”

  “Well, yeah! They were big into going to all the parties and whatnot. With Grandpa owning a bank, I’m sure they got invited to all kinds of stuff!”

  Turning another page, she saw her grandparents in another photograph, at another party. This time they were around her own age, thirty-one. “I wish West would take me out more often.”

  Brittany pushed her shoulder. “Oh, c’mon, Sis! You’re going to a company party tonight!”

  “I know . . . but that’s only once a year.”

  Shrugging, Brittany stood up. “I guess it’s all about perspective. I’m still not married and I’m twenty-eight. I’d love to just have someone!”

  Guilt rose within Rachel, and she set the photo album down into the box. She knew she needed to be more grateful for her husband, but it proved more difficult as the years progressed in their marriage. What was once a steamy love fest in the first years of marriage had become a routine of day in and day out basic living and raising children. He went to work, and she cared for the kids and kept the house clean. There wasn’t nearly the excitement there once was between them, and most days, he felt more like a roommate than a spouse. Some days, not even a kiss passed between them.

  Rachel rose to her feet and wiped her dusty hands off on her jeans. “I need to be thankful for West, our three beautiful children, and our ten years of marriage.”

  Brittany’s lips curled into a smile. “Yes. God-honoring marriage doesn’t come without a little bit of boring attached to it. In a way, boring is good. It’s reliable. If you want a little freshness, you just have to find ways to spice things up, if you know what I mean?”

  “Gross!” She slapped her sister’s arm playfully as Brittany stood up. They both laughed.

  Peering across the attic, Rachel took a deep breath in and expelled it. “All right. Let’s get to work.”

  After clearing the attic and loading boxes into Brittany’s car, they were done by four o’clock that afternoon. Rachel swung by the house to get Elizabeth, her oldest child who was nine, to take her to volleyball practice.

  As soon as she walked into the house, West jumped off the couch and headed toward her. He stepped past her to the closet door and grabbed his coat. As he put it on, Rachel’s gaze met his eyes.

  “Sorry. I have to get back to work. I will be home around seven, and we’ll head over to the company party.”

  “Wait. I thought you had the rest of the day off? Elizabeth has volleyball practice.”

  “I’m sorry. I have to figure out this bug in the code today before tonight’s hot fix rolls out tonight for March.” Pulling out his car keys, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. Then he turned and left. As the front door shut, she blinked away the quiet pain inside her heart. She didn’t feel like he cared about her having to deal with their seven-year-old, high-energy boy, Jeremy, at volleyball practice, or the fact that she was exhausted from cleaning all day.

  None of that mattered, though. She had a job to do, and that was being a mom. Pushing it all out from her mind, she got all three children ready and in the car.

  Arriving at the bleachers of the gymnasium at Elizabeth’s school, Rachel sat down with Jeremy and her youngest, Lilly, her five-year-old, well-behaved little girl. As the hour wore on, so did Rachel’s exhaustion of trying to manage Jeremy. He had already burnt his one chance to go play with his friend Drew because he was caught by another mom jumping from the end of the bleachers from six feet off the floor. Drew had twisted his ankle in the process of their childish antics.

  “But Mom! I’m bored sitting here.” Jeremy slouched on the bleacher, lying on his back as his coat bunched up to his shoulders.

  “Ephesians 6:1.”

  Folding his arms, he furrowed his eyebrows and sat upright. Then he stared out at the volleyball players who were practicing serves.

  Lilly tugged on her arm, pulling her attention to the coloring book. “Do you like the flower I
colored for you?”

  “It’s adorable, sweetheart.”

  Rachel lifted her gaze over to the clock on the far side of the gym and saw she still had another thirty minutes until practice was over. Then it would be onward to making dinner at home. She recalled to mind at the moment that she hadn’t pulled anything out to thaw that morning before heading to her grandfather’s house. Touching her forehead, her heart sank for a moment.

  A fraction of a moment passed, then she recalled the company party. A smile crept onto her lips. She could make mac n’ cheese for the children, and she and West would be eating at the party. Focusing her attention on the evening plans, her smile grew. In mere hours, she’d be out with her husband at a party, eating a freshly prepared slab of salmon. Her earlier conversation with Brittany came to mind. Grasping onto the gratitude in her heart, she thought to herself, I need to be more thankful. Resolving in her heart that the evening would be special, she pushed her thoughts toward thankfulness. The kids will be home with a sitter, and I’ll get a night out with West. It’s a good thing.

  Leaning back in his chair in his cubicle at DigiTech, West raked a hand through his hair. The code seemed fine, but it wasn’t working properly, and he was stumped on what the problem was with it. He grabbed his coffee mug and tried to take a drink but found it empty.

  “Good. An excuse to step away.” Pushing his office chair away from the desk, he sighed deeply and stood, stretching his arms as he did so.

  “Who are you talking to, West?” Jake, one of the other programmers and a friend, said jokingly as he rose to his feet and joined West on his way to the break room.

  “The calculation for the tax based on the customer’s location isn’t working. I don’t know what’s going on.”

  “But the hot fix shouldn’t even be touching that.”

  “I know. I think that’s why Mark had to give it to me. I’ll figure it out. I just need more coffee.”

  Jake laughed. “Yes! Coffee, the magic of software development!”

  They both laughed as they entered the break room. West went over to the coffee pot and refilled his cup. Just then, Melissa, one of the testers, walked in. He lifted his gaze toward her and tipped her an acknowledging nod. Then he joined Jake at one of the white tables in the break room.

  “You excited for tonight?” Jake turned and looked at Melissa. “Should be a fun time.”

  “Honestly?” West shook his head, letting out an exhaustive sigh. “I’d rather not even go, but the boss will be there, so . . .”

  Melissa laughed and came over to the table. Touching West’s shoulder for a fraction of a moment, she shook her head. “Don’t be a Debbie Downer. It’s a party. It’s supposed to be fun!”

  “Yeah, yeah.” West took a swig of coffee.

  Jake leaned slightly over the table. “It’s classy too, so romance will be in the air. Earn you some points with the old lady!”

  West nodded as he set his coffee down on the table. “Yeah, this party has already cost me $140 plus a babysitter. Rachel went out and bought a new dress just for tonight. I think I earned my points already.”

  “Wow. You sound really romantic.” Melissa laughed and left the break room.

  “How is Rachel these days?” Jake took a drink of his coffee. “How is she handling losing her grandpa?”

  West shrugged a shoulder. “She’s okay. I think her mom is making her do a lot more than she needs to do, but you know how mothers-in-law are.”

  “Yep.” Jake shook his head and set his coffee cup down on the table. “My father-in-law is being a tool right now. He’s refusing to talk to Carly because she isn’t letting her meth-head sister hang out at our house.”

  Steve, one of the software developers who knew West outside of the office and was a devout Christian, walked into the break room. Jake and West went silent upon his entering.

  “What’s going on, guys? You don’t have to stop talking because I came into the room.”

  Jake nodded to West and stood up from the table, exiting the break room quickly.

  Steve joined West at the table, a look of concern on his face as he watched Jake leave. “What’s wrong with him?”

  West shook his head, taking another drink of his coffee. He set the cup down. “Really?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “You kind of rub people the wrong way. The way you inject your religion into every conversation. Jake’s agnostic, and you make him want to push further away with all your talk about Jesus and God.”

  West hadn’t liked Steve since the day Steve started working at DigiTech six months ago. They had met two years prior at a men’s conference in Spokane. During a breakout session at the conference, West had revealed to a small group of men, including Steve, a secret struggle he had been battling then and was still to this day. He wasn’t just a new co-worker who knew West. He was a threat.

  “Hmm. Well, West, it’s not a religion to me. It’s a relationship. God’s a big part of my life. Imagine if you upset people when you talked about your life outside of work.”

  West furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait a second. I have a relationship with God too. I’m a Christian just like you, Steve. See? This is what I’m talking about. You have this accusatory manner about the way you speak.”

  “People in the dark don’t like light. It makes them scatter and run. I just share the light of truth that God has shown me. It’s my personal experience. Why do you seem to be getting so defensive right now, West?”

  “I’m not.” His eyes shifted to the break room door that Jake left out of moments prior. “I just don’t like people being scared away by overzealous religious types. And don’t you dare say it’s a relationship again. I get it.”

  “How’s Rachel doing?” Steve tried to change the subject.

  “She’s fine, Steve.” Standing up, West stopped and looked at him. “I have to get back to work.”

  “I’m still praying for you.”

  Turning toward Steve, West felt guilt rip through his entire being. He was frustrated, not only because of Steve’s comment but because he hadn’t conquered that secret sin in his heart, in his life.

  After pausing, West continued through the door and back to his cubicle, pushing aside the frustration and refocusing on the work he had to finish.

  Jennifer, the sixteen-year-old down the street, arrived shortly after dinner at six thirty. Rachel let her in and returned to the kitchen to finish up dishes. As she washed, Jennifer chatted with her about bedtimes and rules for the house.

  “I’m sorry if I’m asking too many questions.” Jennifer grabbed the empty pot of mac and cheese from the kitchen table and brought it over to Rachel at the sink.

  “It’s okay. You’re just trying to be thorough.”

  “Yeah. Exactly. So . . . my boyfriend. Can he come over?”

  Stopping, her hands still in the soapy water, Rachel turned her gaze to Jennifer. “No, let’s not do that.”

  “Okay.”

  The front door opened, and relief filled Rachel knowing it was West. Pulling her hands out of the soapy water, she wiped her hands off on the towel draped over her shoulder.

  “Can I finish those for you?” Jennifer held out a hand toward the sink.

  “Yes. That’d be great. Thank you.” Taking the towel from her shoulder, she handed it to Jennifer and exited the kitchen.

  Walking into the living room, she saw West walk by the couch Lilly was sitting on as he crossed into the living room.

  “I got out a little earlier than planned.”

  “Nice. Can you go get her changed? She’s still wearing most of her dinner.”

  He beckoned Lilly and headed for the stairs leading up to the bedrooms. “Lilly. Let’s go get you changed.”

  As West went to go help Lilly get into clean pajamas, Rachel went up into her and West’s bedroom to get into the new dress she had picked out for the company party, a silky dark maroon dress with a lacy white accent. She loved the dress the day she saw it and was pleased when
West was okay with her purchasing it.

  She put in her earrings as she peered into the mirror at her dress. She felt pretty.

  West walked into the bedroom just then, pulling her attention away from the mirror. Watching him, she saw him look at her briefly then go straight over to his closet. Mumbling about having to change his shirt, he then started in on her about Jeremy.

  “I went into Jeremy’s room to talk to him, but he can’t just sit there and listen. When I finally got him to sit still, I asked him to repeat what I said about the babysitter. He just started talking about his blue coat and some zipper on it that keeps getting stuck. I don’t get it.”

  Rachel crossed the room over to her husband and placed a hand on his shoulder.

  “West.”

  “What?” He turned toward her.

  “He’s seven.”

  “I know he’s seven, but he also has to learn to listen to his parents!” Unbuttoning his dress shirt, he slid it off and grabbed a blue polo from a hanger in the closet.

  “Is that what you’re wearing?” Rachel watched as West pulled the polo over his head.

  “I’m putting it on, aren’t I?”

  “What’s wrong with you?” Rachel walked back over to the mirror, hoping to hide her welling tears in her eyes and pain in her heart. He hadn’t even noticed her dress.

  “Nothing. I’m just flabbergasted at why you would ask if I’m wearing the shirt you can see I’m putting on right now.”

  Swallowing the lump in her throat, she went into the en-suite bathroom to curl her hair. West found his way to the doorway of the bathroom.

  “What’s wrong?” His voice sounded weary, his words forced.