Trusting Him to Lead Read online

  “Nothing.”

  “Okay. I’m going to warm up the car. Just come out when you’re ready.”

  “All right.”

  After West left, Rachel caught her expression in the mirror. A frown weighed down by the lack of appreciation. She didn’t feel pretty anymore. In her heart, she had hoped he would’ve been stopped by the dress the same way she had been when she was walking through the department store. He wasn’t, though. He didn’t care at all.

  Shaking away the thoughts, she focused on the curls and zeroed in on the evening she’d get to spend with her husband. Thankfulness, she reminded herself. Tonight would be special. Tonight would be time away from the responsibilities of work and raising children. There would be great food, dancing, and music. The way her grandparents lived. The way she and West used to live. If only she could keep her thoughts on what she had been blessed with by God and not what she was lacking, then she could find a sliver of happiness.

  The sound of old jazz standards filled the atmosphere that evening as West and Rachel walked into the Hyatt Hotel’s event center where DigiTech’s company party was held. The lighting was low. Twinkling star LEDs filled the otherwise dark ceiling while candlelit tables for two were scattered throughout the event center floor. There was a single diffused spotlight on a dance floor not far from the edge of the rows of tables. The company prided itself on family values, hosting a party for couples once a year, along with a family celebration event every summer.

  Seeing Jake pull out a chair for his wife, Carly, a couple of tables over from him, West thought that was a good idea and did the same for Rachel.

  Smiling with her eyes and lips, Rachel slightly tipped her head as she sat down. “Thank you. That’s sweet of you, West.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  He sat down across from her at the table. She picked up her menu, and he did the same. As he looked over the four options on the menu—salmon, steak, chicken, or fried veggies—West lifted a prayer in his heart. God, help me to not mess this up for her. I don’t want to ruin it.

  After he finished his steak, and she finished her salmon, he caught her glancing over at the couples dancing on the nearby dance floor.

  “Want to dance?”

  She nodded excitedly, and he took her by the hand, leading her to the dance floor. As his feet hit the smooth wood of the dance floor, he was taken back to their earlier days, when they’d go out dancing. After children, they’d dance in the kitchen, in the driveway, and sometimes even in the supermarket. That was a long time ago, though, and now it was all about day to day survival.

  As he held Rachel close to him on the dance floor, his hands found her hips. West’s mind was flooded with memories of the two of them. “You probably don’t remember this, but we used to dance all the time.”

  She lifted her head from his shoulder and peered into his eyes. “Yes, I remember. Of course I remember those days. We were so happy.”

  “What ever happened to those days?”

  They continued to dance for a few minutes before Rachel responded. Then she shrugged. “They faded with time, I guess.”

  “We should dance more. You know that?”

  “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

  The song ended, and they walked back toward the table. As they sat down at the table, Melissa from work walked over to them. Growing uneasy upon seeing her, West adjusted in his seat. Last summer, Melissa had come over to their picnic table at a DigiTech family celebration and introduced herself. That night, West and Rachel fought until three o’clock in the morning. Rachel accused him of staring at her and was upset that she had touched his arm, saying it was suggestive.

  “Westy!” Melissa exclaimed as she came over to West’s side of the table and leaned over, hugging him.

  “Hey, Melissa. Where’s Frank? Your fiancé.” West was attempting to disarm Rachel’s worry with reminders of Melissa’s recent engagement to Frank, one of DigiTech’s IT technicians.

  “He’s fixing something with the server. I don’t know when he’ll be here.”

  “You remember my wife, Rachel.”

  “Oh, yes!” Melissa turned and waved. “So nice to see you again! I love your dress and earrings. So cute!”

  West’s eyes stayed on Rachel, trying to read her from moment to moment as Melissa chatted her up about life.

  “Thank you.” Rachel was polite but clearly uncomfortable.

  “You’re so brave, Rach.”

  “What?”

  “Being a mom!” Melissa leaned slightly over, touching Rachel’s arm. “I could never let my body get ruined like that. Then dealing with greedy little kids every day. You’re amazing. Truly amazing.”

  “Uh . . . thanks.”

  A few moments of silence filled the air, and Melissa excused herself.

  Mockingly, Rachel said, “At least someone noticed my dress.”

  West leaned over the table. “What?”

  “Nothing. Excuse me.” Rachel pushed out her chair and went to the restroom.

  West rubbed his forehead as stress weighed heavily on his thoughts. A slap on his back startled him, and he jerked his body around.

  It was Steve.

  Less than enthused to see him, West nodded. “Hey, Steve.”

  “How’s the evening going? Marcy is loving what they did this year. DigiTech went all out. The steak was mouthwatering, man. What’d you have to eat?”

  “I had the steak as well. It was good. It’s all great.”

  “You seem a little short. You okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Steve took the hint and backed away from West. A few moments passed, and Rachel still hadn’t emerged from the restroom. His eyes were glued on the doorway, waiting for her. Jake came over and sat down with West.

  “Hey, man. Where’s Rachel?”

  Shaking his head, West motioned to the restrooms. “In the bathroom. I think she’s upset because Melissa came over to our table. She hugged me.”

  “What?” Jake looked over at Melissa, who was now sitting down at a table with Frank. “Why’d she hug you?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m in trouble. I can already feel it.” West let out a long-winded sigh. “I really don’t have time to fight tonight.”

  “Just do some more dancing. The evening will turn out okay. It’s too romantic in here not too.”

  “Right.” Seeing Rachel emerge from the restroom, West saw her heading toward the exit. Standing up, he hurried his steps toward her, trying to reach her before she left.

  “Rachel.” His words were sharp as embarrassment rose in him. She stopped and turned. Catching up to her, he raised an eyebrow. “What’s going on? Where are you going?”

  “I want to leave.”

  “C’mon. Let’s go dance some more.”

  Shaking her head, she peered into his eyes. “Do you understand how hurt I am by the way Melissa treated me? The way she hugged you? She was terrible to me, and you just sat there.”

  “What did you want me to do?”

  “Anything, West. I wanted you to do anything other than just sit there!” Pulling her cell phone out of her purse, she shook her head. “I’ll get an Uber home.”

  “No.” He grabbed the cell phone from her hand and shoved it back into her purse. “We’ll leave together.”

  Anguish filled Rachel’s heart on the drive home that evening. She had tried to keep it together, but seeing Melissa touch her husband that way and how he’d just let her . . . she couldn’t deal with it. Then the way she was speaking down to Rachel, and West just sat there without a word of interjection. It all tore her heart to pieces. How could he be so unloving? How could he just let a co-worker demean her and what she did for their family like that? When Rachel met Melissa last summer at the family function for DigiTech, she knew Melissa was trouble. A slender waistline, a flirty personality, and worst of all—the attention of every man, including her husband. Rachel had caught West checking Melissa out when she was bent over getting a bottl
e of water out of the ice chest at the company party in the park. He denied it that night when they fought, but Rachel wasn’t dumb. She had eyes and could see the way he looked at her.

  Arriving home at just after nine o’clock, West parked the car next to an unfamiliar blue pickup truck.

  “Whose truck is that?”

  Rachel shook her head, then recalled Jennifer’s comment about a boyfriend. “Looks like Jennifer had her boyfriend come over even after I said not to.”

  “I’m not paying her to make out with her boyfriend.”

  Shutting off the car, West jumped out and headed toward the house. Rachel tried to unbuckle but was too upset to do so quickly. Finally unbuckled, she got out and hurried to the house in the hope of catching him before he made it inside. She wasn’t fast enough, though. He was already inside and laying down the law.

  Walking across the threshold into the house, she watched as West tore into the two children.

  “My wife told you he wasn’t allowed over here, and you did it anyway?”

  “I thought you guys weren’t going to be home until ten at the earliest. I’m sorry!”

  “I had no idea I wasn’t allowed here.” The scraggly haired kid grabbed his coat from the couch and put it on, then darted for the door.

  Jennifer started crying.

  West shook his head. “You can forget about ever babysitting here again!”

  Rachel intervened. “That’s a little much, West.” Directing her eyes to Jennifer, she shook her head. “It’s okay, really. He’s just upset that you went against what we told you.”

  “No. She’s not coming back to babysit, Rachel.” West turned toward her.

  Pulling the money from her purse, Rachel gave it to Jennifer and saw her out. After the door shut, she turned toward West.

  “You don’t have to be rude to her. She’s just a kid!”

  “I can’t believe you just did that. I’m the leader of this house.”

  “Okay. Well, you weren’t being very nice.” Sidestepping West, she continued into the kitchen and set her purse down on the kitchen island.

  “She can’t just do whatever she wants.”

  “You’re being overdramatic.”

  “Whatever. It’s the same thing with the kids. You don’t let me lead!”

  “Don’t wrap this into a whole thing, West.” Coming closer, she drew out her words. “It’s the babysitter. We won’t even need another one for a year.” Rachel laughed.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted.” Walking away from West, she headed up the stairs to bed.

  A few minutes later, West joined her in bed and they both went to sleep without another word.

  Chapter 2

  Rachel - Age 18

  Walking with her friends down the hallway of Shadle Park High School in Spokane, Washington, Rachel was worried that she wouldn’t have a date for that evening’s prom. The boy she’d had her eye on for the last year, Ryan Patrick, had just asked someone else outside of math class that morning. She kept her composure all the way to Spanish, but at the last moment, she split off from her friends and went into the ladies’ restroom.

  Walking into the restroom, she saw two girls at the bathroom mirrors. Holding back her tears as much as she could, she went into a stall and shut the door.

  Sitting down and letting go once she felt alone, she shook her head in disbelief that Ryan would ask Janice Swanson out instead of her.

  The bell rang for class, and she could hear the other girls in the bathroom as they left. Rachel would be tardy if she didn’t get moving, but she didn’t care. Her heart ached as she recalled her and Ryan’s kiss under the bleachers at the homecoming football game at the beginning of their senior year. She thought they were on their way to dating, but that hadn’t happened, and now that he was going to the prom with Janice, she knew it would never happen.

  Suddenly, the bathroom door opened, pulling her out of her thoughts.

  Rachel lifted her feet and stayed quiet.

  The stall beside her opened, but they never sat. They were standing.

  Furrowing her eyebrows, she tried to glance at the floor.

  She saw male sneakers.

  What on earth? She wondered.

  The toilet flushed and the guy exited the stall.

  Hearing the faucet turn on, her sadness folded into anger and annoyance that a male classmate would enter the ladies’ restroom. Placing her feet down, she stood and flung open the stall door.

  It was West Kirkland, the cute football jock who sat next to her in Spanish.

  Her gaze fixed on his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands. “What are you doing here?”

  West shut off the water and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “It’s nicer in here than the boys’ bathroom. Have you seen it in there? It’s disgusting.”

  “That doesn’t give you a right to come into the ladies’!” She marched up to him and grabbed his shoulder, turning him toward her.

  “I’m sorry I upset you. I don’t walk in unless it’s clear. I try to make sure I don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Which reminds me . . .” He folded his arms and leaned against the sink. “You were hiding.”

  “Maybe.”

  “You skipping class to smoke dope or something?”

  “No! I’m a good girl!”

  West’s lips curled up to one side in a smile. “Yeah? Why are you skipping class, ‘good girl’ ?”

  Her heart flinched in pain. “I have my reasons.”

  West lifted his eyebrows momentarily, then went over to the paper towel dispenser. Grabbing a paper towel, he dried his hands.

  “I don’t have a date for the prom tonight. I’m upset.”

  Pitching his paper towel in the trash, West walked back over to her.

  “Why do you care about a stupid prom?”

  “It’s Senior year. Don’t you?”

  He shook his head. “No. I try not to waste my time on trivial high school stuff. I’m building websites, learning to program in BASIC, and working with my grandpa at the hardware store. I don’t have time for the trivial.”

  She laughed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You’re a jock. You play football, basketball, and baseball.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  Rachel felt uneasy. Her voice softened. “I thought jocks were . . .”

  “Dumb? Yeah, most of them are, but I’m not. I just like sports. The more physical I am, the better my brain works.”

  “Walking in here wasn’t very smart.”

  West laughed. “You’re cute. You know that?”

  Her cheeks went crimson.

  “Listen. You don’t need no dumb prom. I’ll dance with you right here, right now.”

  “No, you wouldn’t!”

  West held out a hand. “Test me.”

  “Okay.” She placed her hand in his, and he pulled her in suddenly and with a quick jerk.

  Her heart began to pound in her chest as West’s muscular frame was less than an inch from her. She could hear his breathing and smell his cologne. She hadn’t been this close to a boy before, other than that kiss with Ryan. When West placed his hands on her waist, her whole body warmed from head to toe. His touch was gentle, delicate. As he started to dance with her, he sang, I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing.

  When he got to the chorus, Rachel sang along with him as they swayed to the rhythm of the music.

  As he finished the song, they released from holding each other.

  “There, now you can skip prom.” West turned to leave, but Rachel caught his arm, stopping him.

  “That’s it?”

  “I have to get to class.”

  “But . . . what about us?”

  “Us? I like the sound of that.”

  A year after that day, they were married at Rachel’s church and moved into an apartment in Spokane Valley. She worked at an animal hospital. He was working as an intern at a start-up software compan
y called DocuServer while attending college at Eastern Washington State University.

  One evening, after eating out at a nice restaurant, they were driving down the road when Rachel spotted a long line of people outside some sort of club.

  “West, look.” She pointed out her window.

  “That’s a night club or something, Rach.”

  “I know, but there’s probably some good dancing going on in there.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, not the kind of dancing we want to be doing. Do you want to go out dancing tonight? I know a good place.”

  “You know a good place?” She threw her head back in laughter. “How would you know a good place? We’ve been married for six months! You don’t know anything I don’t.”

  West smiled and put his blinker on and got into the turning lane at the next intersection. “A buddy at work told me about this place he took his wife. He said it’s classy and low key. Trust me, it’ll be a lot better than a night club.”

  Rachel watched out the windshield as anticipation grew inside her. Pulling into a parking lot, she saw a red neon sign that read, Tony’s.

  “It’s a dry bar. No alcohol, and there’s a dance floor.” West turned the car off and peered over at her.

  “Awesome. Let’s go in.”

  West got out and came over to Rachel’s side of the car. Taking her by the hand, he led her inside.

  After a few sodas and an hour and a half of dancing, Rachel’s feet began to hurt. They went over to their table and sat down. Classic rock played in the background as they sat side by side.

  “This is fun.” Rachel took a sip of her soda and set it back down. Her gaze landed on West’s eyes as he watched couples dancing a few feet away, and she felt love wash over her. “I want to start a family, West.”

  He looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah?”

  “I do.”

  “Kids are spendy. I still have two and a half years of college left.”

  She shrugged. “Who cares? If we wait for the perfect time, it’ll never come. Don’t you want little Wests and Rachels running around our house?”