Journey 0f Grace (Journey 0f Love Book 1) Read online

  “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing. Just working on the car. Joe said if I get it to him by Tuesday, I can take his boat out on the lake this summer. Wouldn’t that be neat? Make a little cash on the car plus have access to a boat? Think of it. To be out on the water with the breeze in our hair and the lake beneath our feet as we glide across the top of the water.”

  My heart tumbled as I wondered how long he had been hiding the medicine, hiding this truth. His lying came so easily, it worried me. I blurted out, “I know about the heart medication.”

  His countenance fell in an instant. “Oh.”

  Turning around, he picked the car part back up and started to tinker with it once more.

  “Can we talk about it, Dad?” I asked, stepping more into the shop and up to him. “All I want is the truth. I’d like to know what’s going on with my dad. I’m an adult. You can be honest with me.”

  He didn’t turn around, only sighed. After a few moments more passed, he must’ve realized I wasn’t going to leave. He turned his head slightly. “I don’t wanna talk about that. But don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Tears broke free and rolled down my cheeks as my heart broke. I felt worlds apart from my dad in that moment. He wasn’t letting me into this part of his life. He was blocking me out. I only wanted to know what was going on because I cared, because I loved him. It was clear to me now that he wasn’t going to budge an inch on the topic.

  “You counsel people all the time at that church in the valley and help them get through difficulties, but you can’t even put into practice yourself what you tell them to do. You always tell them to be open and honest!” Wiping my eyes, I shook my head. “Go ahead, Dad. Hide out here in your barn and refuse to acknowledge the fact that you’re not practicing what you preach!”

  Leaving the barn in a flurry of steps, I made my way over to the guest house. Once inside, I slammed the door shut. What hurt the most was thinking my father and I had grown closer over the last year of my living here. This wasn’t true, or at least it didn’t feel like it was true.

  Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I went into the bedroom and sat down on my bed. Peering through the window that pointed toward the house, I wondered about Mom. Did she know too? Or was he hiding this from everyone, including his own wife?

  A knock came from the door of the guest house a moment later. Surprised by the knock, I got up and wiped my eyes, then went to answer it. I expected my dad, but it wasn’t.

  It was Owen.

  “Hey, Grace.” His voice was hesitant but laced with hopefulness.

  My emotions still raw from the encounter with my father, I just stood there and looked at him. Call it shock or embarrassment, I didn’t understand why, but I froze. I had no clue why he had come over, but I did want to know. I desired to speak, but there was no breath in me to utter a word. So instead, I continued to stand there, staring at him as tears burned my eyes.

  A moment passed, then things became increasingly awkward. Owen shook his head and took a step back. “Uh, coming here was a mistake.”

  He turned and walked back toward his car in the driveway. I continued to stare, continued to desire to speak but still finding no air in my lungs to speak the words my heart wanted to say. Then I saw my dad. He stepped out from his barn with his gaze locked on Owen like that of a concerned father. After Owen left, my dad came over to me.

  “Someone I need to be worried about?”

  I crossed my arms and looked down into my dad’s eyes as he stood at the base of the steps up to the guest house. My heart was barely beating, still weak from the blow earlier. He truly didn’t get it. He didn’t understand how betrayed I felt when I saw those pill bottles lined up on the counter at the pharmacy.

  My words found breath and I said, “Maybe you should just worry about yourself.”

  Turning around, I went back inside the guest house, letting the screen door shut behind me but leaving the door open. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I went into my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed.

  I heard the screen door creak open. I lifted my chin. The sound of my father’s footsteps echoed through the guest house as he came to the bedroom. I felt his love as he stood in the doorway and looked into my eyes.

  Walking across the hardwood floor, he sat down beside me. Hunched over, he wrung his hands and struggled to find the right words to speak.

  Even though I was upset with him, his voice felt like a warm fire when there’s a chill in the air outside. “Couple of years ago, I went in for a checkup and they found an issue with my heart, Gracie. They call it Atrial Fibrillation. It’s an irregular heartbeat and it increases the risk of stroke and heart disease. I’ve had one small incident right before you moved up here last year. It was a minor stroke, but I’m okay now. I didn’t want to tell you kids. I mean, my goodness, you all have enough on your plates in life, and your knowing wouldn’t change anything.”

  “You had a stroke, Dad?”

  I could see his eyes glisten, but then he put his arm around me and pulled me in for a hug. “Gracie, you have nothing to worry about.”

  I had to trust him even though I didn’t. “I just thought we were getting closer and—”

  “Oh, honey. We are closer. I don’t want you to have to worry about me. You are doing so well in life. Please don’t let this put stress on you. I hate to ask this of you, but can you make sure not to tell Beth? You know how she gets.”

  I nodded in agreement. “I won’t say a word.”

  Chapter 13

  ON THE WAY OUT TO my car the next morning, I noticed a trampled bouquet of flowers lying in the gravel of the driveway. Remembering Owen’s visit last night, I became sick to my stomach. He brought me flowers too? Picking them up from the gravel, I took them back to the guest house and cleaned them up the best I could and placed them in a vase on my dining table. Though the daisies had a few petals missing and one flower was completely destroyed, I didn’t want to toss them. I hadn’t had anyone buy me flowers before in my entire life, and it made me feel special.

  Arriving at the thrift store, I told Melinda about what had happened with Owen.

  “You should go apologize to him.”

  I shrugged a shoulder at the notion as I folded a pair of jeans. Setting the jeans on the shelf, I turned to her. “The thing is, I already didn’t think I was ready for a relationship. Now, my chances are pretty slim with the one guy I was interested in.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I acted like a total weirdo last night. I just stood there and cried without saying a word. I wouldn’t date me!”

  She laughed. “I guess that’s not the best way to get a guy to stay interested in you.”

  The bell on the thrift store’s main entrance jingled, interrupting our conversation.

  Melinda left to the front to go greet our first customer of the day. I continued folding jeans and sorting out my thoughts and feelings. Owen was nice and handsome, but after rejecting him at the abandoned house over a year ago and again last night, I figured my chances had run out. Most men don’t handle rejection well.

  Melinda came through the swinging doors a few seconds later.

  “Hey, there’s a guy out here for you.” She raised an eyebrow. “He’s pretty cute too. Owen, maybe?”

  “No way!” Placing the jeans on the table, I walked past her and went through the doors out to the floor. As my gaze fell on Owen, my heart pounded. Approaching him, I tilted my head. “You’re either desperate or crazy to show up here after the way I acted.”

  He laughed. “How about a little of both?”

  I shook my head, throwing my hands into the air. “Great, you’re crazy. Most of the cute ones are.”

  He laughed. “Nah. I just really want to show you my appreciation for finding that photo last year.”

  “How can one photo mean so much to you, Owen?”

  “It’d sound stupid if I told you.”

  “Try me,” I replied, placing
a hand on my hip.

  “Well, that photo helped someone who was important to me.”

  “That’s intriguing, but vague.” Glancing over toward the large windows that overlooked the sidewalk that ran along the outside of the thrift store, I thought again of last night. “I’m really sorry about last night. I was dealing with some things.”

  “It’s all right. I understand. I even cry sometimes. Okay, that’s weird to say. I’m sorry about that. Um . . .” A hint of hesitation lingered on his lips. Something was holding him back from asking something, I could tell.

  “What?” I asked playfully with a smile.

  “I want to ask you to dinner, but I’m a little worried you might say no.”

  “I think you might be in for a surprise.”

  He laughed. “Okay. Grace, will you go to dinner with me tonight?”

  “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

  “What?” His eyes widened.

  I laughed, then leaned forward as I touched his arm. “I’m kidding. Yes, I can do dinner. What time?”

  “Okay, good.” He laughed. “I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock?”

  “Sounds good.”

  We exchanged phone numbers.

  I stood there and watched him leave out the front door and get into his car. The early morning sun beamed down through the windows and into the thrift store, warming my face. As I bathed in the warmth of the sun’s rays, I was overwhelmed with happiness and hesitation over the evening ahead.

  Chapter 14

  AFTER WORK, I CAME HOME and found my mother in the living room reading her Bible. I recalled my conversation with Katie the other day about reading the Scriptures more, so I set my purse down on the counter in the kitchen and made tea for my mother and me.

  Joining her in the living room, I gave her a cup.

  “Where you at?”

  After a sip of her tea, she peered up at me. “Galatians. I’ve always loved this book and I come back to it when I’m feeling a little down.”

  “You’re feeling down? I haven’t noticed.” I took a drink of my tea, then set it down on the end table as I wondered if her depressed feelings were related to my dad’s health.

  She smiled and set her cup down on a coaster on the coffee table. “I’m a great actress. You know, I took theater all through high school. I’m kidding. It’s not acting. The reason you don’t notice is because I’m in control of my thoughts, dear. Well, I try to keep a good hold on them. We condition our minds how to think by what we put into them. My father always told us kids growing up, ‘Garbage in, garbage out.’ ”

  “Ahh . . . I see, and Galatians relates how?”

  “This one is my favorite.” She turned her attention to the page and pressed a finger.

  Leaning over, I looked as she pointed at chapter five. Her finger slid down the page to verse twenty-two.

  She read verses 22-23. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

  Lifting her gaze to mine, she said, “We, as Christians, are fruit trees. Growing up on the farm, my parents had fruit trees. They’re not easy to take care of and required a lot of work to maintain. You see the connection here? In order for us to bear fruit in this Christian life, we must work at it constantly with the help of our Gardener, God. Scripture says we abide in Christ and He in us. He is the vine and we are the branches. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. Grace, what I’m getting at is the reason you don’t see me struggling much is because I’m abiding in Christ and leaving all my cares and worries at the foot of the cross. I’m letting Him produce the fruit in my life by letting Him be the focus of my life. When my eyes are on Christ, they’re not on my problems.”

  My eyes welled with tears as I thought about her holding onto Dad’s secret for years now. I knew she knew now. “I found out about Dad, Mom.”

  Her lips curled into a slight frown as her eyebrows drew together. “He told you.”

  “Only because I confronted him after seeing the medication at the pharmacy. I get why you guys wanted to protect us kids, but we are adults. You can’t hide this kind of thing from us. We deserve to know.”

  “Yes, you are adults, but it was your dad’s decision. I can’t focus on those kinds of things or I’d never bear any good fruit. I’d just go around trying to control your father.”

  “You didn’t want to keep it from us, did you?”

  She shrugged, almost a confused look on her face as she did. “It wasn’t my place to share that with you kids. It’s his health and he’s an adult. I respect your father’s decisions and stood by his choice not to share it.”

  “How did you guys keep it silent after the stroke? I don’t understand.”

  “It was a tiny stroke, Grace. Barely an afternoon in the hospital and then on blood thinners for life. Again, not my place, and it wasn’t a big deal. You see, the more we focus on God and others, the smaller our problems are. The more we focus on the problems, the bigger they become. Lately, I’ve been getting a little focused too much elsewhere and I need to realign. God’s Word has a way of pruning my heart.”

  My eyes studied the worn pages of her Bible. They were filled with highlights, underlines, and notes along the sides. The truth about her became abundantly clear to me. She didn’t rely on what went on around her as much as she relied on God and on His Word. “I hope that one day, I have the faith and trust in God that you do, Mom. It’s admirable.”

  Her face brightened at the compliment. “Oh, honey. I’m no saint, but I do hope you find yourself relying on God a little more each day that goes by.”

  The sound of a car pulling into the driveway caused us both to turn our heads in the direction of the window. It was most likely Bethany and her troop as they had plans to visit again today. They had visited Cat Tales Zoo which was located only a short distance from the house on Newport Highway. It only made sense to come by here after. Standing up, I went over to the window and pulled back the curtain. Sure enough, the kids were piling out of the side of Beth’s silver minivan and making a dash for the front door.

  Chapter 15

  “YOU HAVE TO WEAR THE butterfly dress.” My sister wouldn’t have it any other way after hearing I was going out on a date with Owen. The ‘butterfly dress’ was an over-the-top dress I had picked out while shopping with my sister a few months ago when Macy’s had an end of the year blowout sale. The dress itself was a strapless gown of black embroidered silk. It’s the type of dress that is always in the closet but never brought out unless there was a very special occasion. The reason we called it the ‘butterfly dress’ was because of what Beth said when I came out of the dressing room with it on. She said, “You look as beautiful as a butterfly.” We both proceeded to laugh about her words the rest of that afternoon.

  “I think it’s too much for a first date.” I shook my head. I knew I didn’t want to overdo it on the first date.

  “What restaurant?”

  I shrugged.

  “Text him and ask.”

  “That seems a little rude.”

  “It’s not rude. You need to know how to dress for the evening.” Grabbing my purse, Beth proceeded to scoop my phone out and hand it over to me. This type of behavior wouldn’t be appropriate with just anyone, but Bethany wasn’t just anyone. She was my over-the-top, do-anything-for-me sister.

  “Okay, okay.” My lips curled into a smile as I texted him. Hitting Send, I set the phone down on the counter. Widening my eyebrows, I shook my head and asked, “Happy now?”

  She laughed and went over to the fridge. She pulled out a bottle of water and shut the fridge door. “Not quite, but I’m getting there. What are my kids doing?”

  Leaning back so I could see into the living room, I saw her three kids, Elly, Ester, and Easton sitting quietly and watching a movie. “Sitting quietly and watching TV.”

  Nodding, she broke into a grin. “Okay. Now I’m happy.”

  “Good.
I’ll be right back.” Excusing myself from the kitchen, I headed down the hall to use the restroom.

  Upon returning to the kitchen, my dad was now home. He was speaking with Bethany and my mom in the kitchen. As I entered the doorway, Beth turned to me with tear-filled eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me about Dad?”

  “He made me swear not to. I only found out by accident when I saw the heart pills and then . . .” I paused, my gaze shifting to my father when his eyes grew round and he shook his head.

  “What?” Her voice sounded like her breath had been knocked out of her. She continued. “I was talking about Dad getting a job at the church up the road.” Beth’s eyes turned to my mom, then my dad. “What’s wrong with your heart?”

  My dad’s eyes stayed like saucers as he didn’t respond to Beth but instead stared me down like a hawk about to make a kill. Becoming increasingly uncomfortable as Beth became louder and more upset, I quickly grabbed my purse and made for the exit. Hurrying out the back door of the kitchen, I went out to my guest house.

  I couldn’t believe it wasn’t even one day after finding out and I had blown the secret. I felt like a bad daughter. He and Mom had kept it silent for a year without anyone knowing and I couldn’t even go a period of twenty-four hours.

  My phone buzzed with a notification.

  Reaching over the side of my bed, my fingers found my purse and pulled the phone out.

  It was a reply from Owen.

  A welcoming light in the darkness that had fallen upon the Anderson household.

  Owen: Clinkerdagger

  The butterfly dress would be perfect for the outing. My eyes found the window pointed toward the house. Too bad I didn’t feel comfortable going inside to tell my sister the great news.

  Chapter 16

  KEEPING A HEALTHY DISTANCE FROM the house the rest of the day to avoid conflict, I decided to read more in Galatians. Then I prayed for my sister and the rest of our family as we dealt with the reality of our father becoming older and not being the Superman we all thought he was growing up. It was great news about his getting on at Church on the Lake. It’d make his commute a lot shorter, and he had been wanting something closer to home for a while now. All that good news, though, just like every other time something good happened in his walk with Christ, was eclipsed by sorrow. This time, it was Bethany and me finding out about his heart issues. It was hard to be happy for him once again.